i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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