don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
