Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
