How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
