We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
