He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize