she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
