OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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