she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
