either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
