I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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