i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
