I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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