oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
