marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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