the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
