Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
