My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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