It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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