Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
