My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
