If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i think i just lost a toe
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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