: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
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Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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