This is not my ceiling
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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