1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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