i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
