I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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