Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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