Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
