dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We're too hungover to prance.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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