We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
