All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
