was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love having hate sex.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
