this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
