i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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