He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hippo gnu deer
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize