Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
