If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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