C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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