Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
