I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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