i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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