just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You smell like stripper and shame
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
