We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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