I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
