Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Life is so much better after having sex.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
