Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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