hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
