Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize