sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
