I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
