he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
