I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
