is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
