there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize