there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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