Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
