Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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