why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
