If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
