dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
